«Kaspi» q\u0259zetin\u0259 verilmi\u015f m\u00fcsahib\u0259: \u0259d\u0259bi s\u00f6hb\u0259t<\/p>\n
Firuz\u0259 M\u0259mm\u0259dli hesab edir ki, poeziyada h\u0259v\u0259skarl\u0131q ola bilm\u0259z\u2026<\/p>\n
M\u00fcsahibim \u015fair\u0259 Firuz\u0259 M\u0259mm\u0259dli yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011fa 60-c\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259 g\u0259lib. M\u00fcxt\u0259lif ill\u0259rd\u0259 23 kitab\u0131 \u00e7ap olunub. 4 monoqrafiyan\u0131n, 6 b\u0259dii t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259 \u0259s\u0259rinin, 130 elmi v\u0259 publisistik m\u0259qal\u0259nin m\u00fc\u0259llifidir. Filologiya elml\u0259ri namiz\u0259di, Pedaqoyi Universitetin dosentidir. \u018fli\u015fir N\u0259vai m\u00fckafat\u00e7\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r. Bundan ba\u015fqa, \u0130.\u0130smay\u0131lzad\u0259 ad\u0131na, R.R\u0259sulzad\u0259 ad\u0131na Beyn\u0259lxalq m\u00fckafatlara v\u0259 N.R\u0259fib\u0259yli m\u00fckafatlar\u0131na da layiq g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcb.<\/em><\/p>\n — Firuz\u0259 xan\u0131m, \u015feird\u0259 qalma\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bi n\u0259dir?<\/p>\n — Sual\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 «N\u0259sr\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259m\u0259yinizin s\u0259b\u0259bi n\u0259dir?», «\u015eeird\u0259n getm\u0259m\u0259yinizin s\u0259b\u0259bi n\u0259dir?», «\u015eeir yazma\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bi n\u0259dir?» v\u0259 s. kimi d\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k olar. S\u00f6hb\u0259t n\u0259sr\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n gedirs\u0259, m\u0259n el\u0259 \u015feir yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00f6vrd\u0259n n\u0259sr \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259ri d\u0259 yazm\u0131\u015fam. H\u0259l\u0259 orta m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 s\u0259rb\u0259st in\u015falar\u0131 x\u0131rda h\u0259cmli hekay\u0259l\u0259r \u015f\u0259klind\u0259 yaz\u0131rd\u0131m. 1958-ci ild\u0259 k\u0259ndimizd\u0259 ba\u015f vermi\u015f bir o\u011furluq hadis\u0259sini q\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 ald\u0131m. Yax\u015f\u0131 bir hekay\u0259 al\u0131nd\u0131, amma \u00e7ap etdir\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. S\u0259b\u0259b bu oldu ki, bizim c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 bel\u0259 i\u015f ola bilm\u0259z. (Amma olmu\u015fdu) \u00c7ox t\u0259kid el\u0259dim. Bir n\u0259f\u0259r m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, \u0259g\u0259r \u00e7ap etdirm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259ms\u0259, \u0259s\u0259rd\u0259ki hadis\u0259l\u0259ri ke\u00e7irim C\u0259nubi Az\u0259rbaycana. Guya bu hadis\u0259l\u0259r \u0130randa ba\u015f verib. \u00c7a\u015f\u0131b qald\u0131m. Bu a\u00e7\u0131q riyakarl\u0131q m\u0259nim g\u0259ncliyimin rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck yalan idi. Hekay\u0259 el\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 qald\u0131. 1963-c\u00fc ild\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m h\u0259yat haqq\u0131nda bilgil\u0259rim bir q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259nginl\u0259\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt unutmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu t\u0259klif m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox t\u0259bii, h\u0259m d\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259ril\u0259n iltifat kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc v\u0259 m\u0259n onu c\u0259nub ab-havas\u0131na k\u00f6kl\u0259dim. Amma yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ap etdirm\u0259dim. Daha do\u011frusu, \u015feir yazma\u011f\u0131 daha \u00fcst\u00fcn tutdum; bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, q\u0131sqand\u0131m \u015feiri n\u0259sr\u0259. Hekay\u0259ni bir d\u0259 2004-c\u00fc ild\u0259 \u00e7ap olunan «\u00d6mr\u00fcn axar\u0131» adl\u0131 kitab\u0131mda \u00e7ap etdirdim. Bel\u0259 bir halla bir d\u0259 1982-ci ild\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131m — «Se\u00e7m\u0259k olmay\u0131r» \u015feirimi yazanda. \u015eeir d\u00f6vr\u00fc m\u0259tbuatda getm\u0259di. T\u0259bii ki, ged\u0259 d\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi. \u015eeiri 1983-c\u00fc ild\u0259 «Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131» n\u0259\u015friyyat\u0131na t\u0259qdim etdiyim «Yetkinlik» kitab\u0131na daxil el\u0259dim. Kitab\u0131n materiallar\u0131 d\u00fcz yeddi il ild\u0259n-il\u0259 ke\u00e7irildi. N\u0259hay\u0259t, \u00e7apa haz\u0131rlananda yen\u0259 eyni bir t\u0259klifl\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131m. «\u015eeir yax\u015f\u0131 \u015feirdir. Amma el\u0259 et ki, guya bu hadis\u0259l\u0259r \u0130randa ba\u015f verib». Yen\u0259 eyni \u00e7a\u015fq\u0131nl\u0131q. Ax\u0131 a\u015fkarl\u0131q d\u00f6vr\u00fc idi. \u00c7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tap\u0131ld\u0131. \u015eeirin ad\u0131 «C\u0259nubdan m\u0259ktub» qoyuldu. Problem aradan qalxd\u0131. T\u0259kc\u0259 \u015feird\u0259ki «milis» s\u00f6z\u00fc «polisl\u0259» \u0259v\u0259z olundu.<\/p>\n O ki qald\u0131 sual\u0131n dig\u0259r anlam t\u0259rzin\u0259, a\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 deyim ki, bu sual\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131r. Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni \u015fair\u0259 dey\u0259s\u0259n ki, niy\u0259 \u015feir yaz\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z v\u0259 ya \u00f6mr\u00fc \u015feir yazma\u011fa h\u0259sr olunan bir adama dey\u0259s\u0259n ki, niy\u0259 \u015fairs\u0259n? Bu ona b\u0259nz\u0259yir ki, dey\u0259s\u0259n — niy\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rsan? \u00c7\u00fcnki \u00f6lm\u00fcr\u0259m. Niy\u0259 \u00f6lm\u00fcrs\u0259n? \u00c7\u00fcnki ya\u015fay\u0131ram.<\/p>\n Amma yen\u0259 cavab ver\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 el\u0259 cavab yox ki, dey\u0259m, yazmasam, ya\u015faya bilm\u0259r\u0259m, m\u0259ni ya\u015fadan yazmaqd\u0131r. Xeyr. Yazmadan da ya\u015famaq olar. \u00c7\u0259tin d\u0259 olsa, m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. Bel\u0259 deyib, yazmadan ya\u015fayanlar\u0131 \u00e7ox g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u00fck.<\/p>\n M\u0259n is\u0259 \u015feir\u0259 getm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdim. M\u0259ni \u015feir\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259n m\u0259ni yaradan Tanr\u0131d\u0131r. M\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259diyi tale \u015fair taleyidir. Taled\u0259n is\u0259 qa\u00e7maq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. M\u0259ni \u015feir\u0259 Tanr\u0131 g\u00f6nd\u0259rib, Tanr\u0131 da \u015feird\u0259n apara bil\u0259r. \u015eeirl\u0259rimd\u0259 bu bar\u0259d\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q, ya gizli i\u015far\u0259l\u0259r \u00e7oxdur. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 vird el\u0259diyim is\u0259 «Allah, el\u0259 et ki, yaz\u0131m Dilimin son s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259n» dil\u0259yidir.<\/p>\n — Kimin k\u00f6m\u0259yind\u0259n faydalanm\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n — He\u00e7 vaxt he\u00e7 kimd\u0259n fayda ver\u0259n k\u00f6m\u0259k g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. \u018fksin\u0259, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131ma s\u0259dd \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259, m\u0259n\u0259 mane\u00e7ilik t\u00f6r\u0259tm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlardan z\u0259hm\u0259timin pu\u00e7 olmas\u0131, \u0259m\u0259yimin he\u00e7\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131 u\u011frunda canf\u0259\u015fanl\u0131q etm\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fa bil\u0259r\u0259m. 1980-ci ild\u0259 namiz\u0259dlik dissertasiyas\u0131 m\u00fcdafi\u0259min l\u0259\u011fv olunmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Moskvaya Ali Attestasiya Komissiyas\u0131na olan m\u00fcraci\u0259tl\u0259rin, y\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rin say\u0131-hesab\u0131 yox idi. Ax\u0131rda i\u015fi T\u00fcrkm\u0259nistana gizli opponent r\u0259yin\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rdil\u0259r. Oradan m\u00fcsb\u0259t r\u0259y g\u0259ldi. \u018flaclar\u0131 k\u0259silib t\u0259sdiq etdil\u0259r. Do\u011frudur, \u00f6t\u0259n \u0259srin yetmi\u015finci ill\u0259rind\u0259 n\u0259\u015friyyat al\u0259mind\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n vaxt \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaranan obyektiv atmosferd\u0259 \u015feirl\u0259rimin, ilk kitab\u0131m\u0131n i\u015f\u0131q \u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259sin\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259klik oldu. \u018fd\u0259bi yurnallar\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q oldu. Bu da o sah\u0259d\u0259 f\u0259aliyy\u0259t g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 insanlar\u0131n, yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l s\u0259n\u0259t adamlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n obyektiv m\u00fcnasib\u0259tinin n\u0259tic\u0259si idi.<\/p>\n H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 qula\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7atan xo\u015fag\u0259lm\u0259z s\u00f6zl\u0259r, adam\u0131 \u00f6z g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n bel\u0259 salma\u011fa qadir olan \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259r — kims\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edir, onun\u00e7un kims\u0259 yaz\u0131r v\u0259 s. — m\u0259ni t\u0259hqir edib. Kifay\u0259t deyilmi? Y\u0259ni m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edib «m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yazan» adam \u00f6z\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn niy\u0259 bel\u0259 \u015feir yaza bilmir? \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 niy\u0259 bir g\u00fcn a\u011flam\u0131r? Z\u0259nnimc\u0259, indiki halda m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck k\u00f6m\u0259k 20 il m\u0259nzil n\u00f6vb\u0259sind\u0259 durdu\u011fum halda, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259nzil\u0259 olan ehtiyac\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6d\u0259nilm\u0259m\u0259sin\u0259 laqeyd m\u00fcnasib\u0259tin ortadan qalxmas\u0131 olard\u0131.<\/p>\n Yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131mda is\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bir olan Allah\u0131n k\u00f6m\u0259yin\u0259 arxalanm\u0131\u015fam.<\/p>\n — \u015eeirinizin birind\u0259 «Yen\u0259 it g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259n boylan\u0131r \u00f6m\u00fcr, ill\u0259r ya\u015f\u0131m \u00fcst\u0259 g\u0259lmir ya\u015f kimi» yaz\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. \u00d6mr\u00fcn bu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda nec\u0259, yen\u0259mi ya\u015f \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 ya\u015f g\u0259lmir?<\/p>\n — Bu \u015feirin yaz\u0131lma tarixi el\u0259 d\u0259 uzaq deyil, 2005-ci ild\u0259 yaz\u0131l\u0131b. O iki misran\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259si var. \u0130ll\u0259r ya\u015f\u0131m \u00fcstd\u0259 b\u0259s n\u0259 kimi g\u0259lir? Orda a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r. «Y\u00fckl\u0259nib gedir\u0259m \u00f6mr\u00fc da\u015f kimi» B\u0259s da\u015f kimi, niy\u0259? Da\u015f — a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131qd\u0131r, da\u015f — s\u0259rtlikdir, da\u015f — soyuqluqdur. Da\u015f\u0131n aya\u011fa d\u0259ym\u0259si (aya\u011f\u0131na da\u015f d\u0259ym\u0259sin) ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259si (ba\u015f\u0131na da\u015f d\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn), da\u015f\u0131n da\u015f b\u0259rkliyi, da\u015f susmas\u0131 var (Da\u015fa d\u00f6nd\u00fc bir k\u0259lm\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131). \u018fg\u0259r bir \u00f6m\u00fcr m\u0259n\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r da\u015f at\u0131bsa, onu yas kimi nec\u0259 ya\u015famaq olar?! El\u0259 indi d\u0259, d\u00fcn\u0259n d\u0259, y\u0259qin ki, sabah da bel\u0259 olacaq — bu qism\u0259td\u0259n qa\u00e7maqm\u0131 olar?!<\/p>\n Lakin da\u015f t\u0259kc\u0259 m\u0259nfilik m\u00fcc\u0259ss\u0259m\u0259si deyil. Da\u015f\u0131n da\u015f qiym\u0259tl\u0259ri var — «Da\u015f\u0131 da\u015f g\u00f6r\u0259n yan\u0131ld\u0131». B\u0259lk\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131m \u00fcstd\u0259 ya\u015f kimi yox, da\u015f kimi ya\u011fan ill\u0259r m\u0259ni \u00f6z qiym\u0259tli da\u015f-qa\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 — s\u00f6z incil\u0259ri il\u0259 m\u00fckafatland\u0131r\u0131b. B\u0259s onda niy\u0259 «\u0130t g\u00fcn\u00fc?!» \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 c\u0259fas\u0131z, \u0259ziyy\u0259tsiz, \u0259zabs\u0131z he\u00e7 n\u0259 \u0259ld\u0259 edilmir. B\u0259z\u0259n bu \u0259zablar\u0131 ayr\u0131 c\u00fcr adland\u0131ra da bilmirs\u0259n. \u015eeirl\u0259rimd\u0259 bu \u0259zab-\u0259ziyy\u0259tin ifad\u0259si boldur. Yazmaq m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259ziyy\u0259t deyil, \u00e7\u00fcnki m\u0259tn m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6yl\u0259rd\u0259n haz\u0131r enir. \u018fzab yazmamaq, yazma\u011fa vaxt tapmamaqdad\u0131r. B\u0259z\u0259n b\u0259dii yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131qdan uzaq i\u015fl\u0259rl\u0259 el\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259nirs\u0259n ki, poeziyaya bir d\u0259 qay\u0131da bil\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 inanm\u0131rsan. Bax, bel\u0259 g\u00fcnl\u0259r m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn it g\u00fcn\u00fc kimi bir \u015feydir. Amma bu, h\u0259l\u0259 ham\u0131s\u0131 deyil. Ax\u0131 m\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131n i\u00e7 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ara\u015fd\u0131r\u0131ram. Orda g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rim, duyduqlar\u0131m m\u0259nim varl\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan \u00f6z \u015f\u0259xsi a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131m kimi ke\u00e7ir. X\u00fcsus\u0259n, haqs\u0131zl\u0131q g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 ala bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259nim i\u00e7\u0259rimd\u0259 m\u0259ni didib-par\u00e7alayan bir eneryi z\u0259ncir g\u0259mirir. Bax, it g\u00fcn\u00fcm budur. Bel\u0259 vaxtda do\u011fulan \u015feird\u0259 daha n\u0259d\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131ram, n\u0259y\u0259 \u00fcsyan etmir\u0259m?! H\u0259min \u015feir d\u0259 bel\u0259 bir ovqat\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259sidir. B\u0259li, yen\u0259 d\u0259 «\u0130ll\u0259r ya\u015f\u0131m \u00fcstd\u0259 g\u0259lmir ya\u015f kimi». \u018fg\u0259r g\u0259l\u0259n sabah, g\u0259l\u0259n Yeni il s\u0259n\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 v\u0259d etmirs\u0259, bu, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259siz ki, bel\u0259 olacaq.<\/p>\n \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, s\u00f6hb\u0259t ancaq \u015f\u0259xsi i\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259n getmir. \u0130\u015f\u011fal alt\u0131nda inl\u0259y\u0259n torpaqlar, at\u0259\u015fk\u0259s d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259 oturdu\u011fu s\u0259ng\u0259rd\u0259c\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n g\u00fcll\u0259sin\u0259 h\u0259d\u0259f olan fidan balalar, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131na alan zorak\u0131l\u0131q, t\u0259bii f\u0259lak\u0259tl\u0259r… Bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 m\u0259nim ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00f6vr\u00fcn, zaman\u0131n ab-havas\u0131d\u0131r, ovqat\u0131d\u0131r. \u015eeir is\u0259 olanlar\u0131n poetik ifad\u0259sidir. \u015eair \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc zamandan, m\u0259kandan t\u0259crid ed\u0259 bilm\u0259z.<\/p>\n — «M\u0259l\u0259k dilli q\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n fitn\u0259-feli bal dad\u0131r» — Bu misra sizindir. Bel\u0259 bir bal\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yinizi yaralamas\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259rin izi qal\u0131bm\u0131?<\/p>\n — Q\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 ilahi bir niqab olur. Sad\u0259dil adamlar bu niqab\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. \u015e\u0259xs\u0259n m\u0259nim bel\u0259 bir t\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb yaraland\u0131\u011f\u0131m olmay\u0131b. \u018fg\u0259r hans\u0131 bir tan\u0131\u015fdansa, r\u0259fiq\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 iki\u00fczl\u00fcl\u00fck g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259ms\u0259 bel\u0259, bu, m\u0259n\u0259 yara vurmay\u0131b. \u00c7\u00fcnki m\u0259n bel\u0259 m\u0259qamlarda onun yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fi haqq\u0131nda fikirl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f\u0259m. \u00dcst\u0259lik, bel\u0259 adamlarla m\u00fcnasib\u0259timin m\u0259n\u0259 verdiyi m\u00f6vzular\u0131 \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015feirl\u0259rimd\u0259n hesab edir\u0259m. Bu m\u0259nada, insanlara inam\u0131n\u0131 itirdikc\u0259, itirdiyind\u0259n d\u0259 bir poetik n\u00fcmun\u0259 tap\u0131rsansa, ya\u015fas\u0131n bel\u0259 «fitn\u0259-fel»! Bir d\u0259 ki, Tanr\u0131 m\u0259ni bel\u0259 fitn\u0259-fell\u0259rd\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 hifz edib.<\/p>\n — S\u00f6z \u015feird\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fk\u0259n, bir fikrinizi d\u0259 misal \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259rdim: «D\u00fcnyan\u0131n dostu qoyub yad oynadan d\u00fcnya olmas\u0131» fikri d\u0259 sizindir. Bel\u0259 bir h\u00f6km\u00fc verm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259r\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259n d\u00fcnyalarca qocala bil\u0259s\u0259n. Zahiri g\u00f6rn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fczd\u0259ki g\u0259nclik durumu il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259vi qocal\u0131q sizi xofland\u0131rm\u0131r ki?<\/p>\n — Z\u0259nnimc\u0259, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n dosta-d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini a\u015fkarlamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259n\u0259n qocalma\u011fa, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fcnya il\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131d hiss etm\u0259y\u0259 he\u00e7 bir ehtiyac yoxdur. \u018fvv\u0259la, onu deyim ki, m\u0259nim «zahiri g\u0259ncliyim» el\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259n qocalmama\u011f\u0131m\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259sidir. «M\u0259n\u0259vi \u00f6l\u00fcm», «m\u0259n\u0259vi qocal\u0131q» — m\u0259n bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r bar\u0259sind\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m. \u018fslin\u0259 qalsa, m\u0259n\u0259vi \u00f6l\u00fcm d\u0259, qocal\u0131q da insan\u0131n \u00f6z irad\u0259sind\u0259n, qurdu\u011fu m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n, q\u0259lbinin t\u0259mizliyind\u0259n, pax\u0131ll\u0131q, x\u0259bislik, riyakarl\u0131q kimi hissl\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 tutdu\u011fu m\u00f6vqeyind\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 \u00fcmidimin pu\u00e7 olmas\u0131n\u0131n, can atd\u0131\u011f\u0131m, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m arzular\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015f tutmamas\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259li olmu\u015fam. Haqs\u0131z q\u0131naqlar\u0131n, t\u0259qibl\u0259rin h\u0259d\u0259fi olmu\u015fam. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m ki, bax, «m\u0259n\u0259vi \u00f6l\u00fcm» budur. Lakin yox, bunlar m\u0259ni n\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259 bilib, n\u0259 «m\u0259n\u0259vi qocal\u0131q» bataql\u0131\u011f\u0131na s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u0259y\u0259 bilib. Yen\u0259 deyir\u0259m: m\u0259ni, Allah bel\u0259 t\u0259sirl\u0259rd\u0259n qoruyub. Hardansa q\u0259lbim\u0259 bir irfani i\u015f\u0131q dolub, sa\u011fald\u0131b m\u0259ni, ya\u015fad\u0131b m\u0259ni. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259ki \u00fclvi hissl\u0259rin ke\u015fiyind\u0259 durmu\u015fam h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259. Tanr\u0131ya s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015fam. O da m\u0259ni t\u0259z\u0259 bir \u015feirl\u0259 m\u00fckafatland\u0131r\u0131b. Qay\u0131d\u0131ram — «D\u00fcnyan\u0131n dostu qoyub, yad\u0131 oynatmas\u0131na». Bu \u015feir 2008-ci ild\u0259 yaz\u0131l\u0131b. M\u0259g\u0259r bu g\u00fcn siyas\u0259t al\u0259mind\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259r m\u0259nim \u00f6t\u0259n il dedikl\u0259rimin t\u0259sdiqi deyilmi? G\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fczm\u00fc, yen\u0259 d\u0259 Tanr\u0131 dikt\u0259si…<\/p>\n — Yax\u0131n g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259t dostumuz S\u0259rvaz H\u00fcseyno\u011flu il\u0259 sizin yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z bar\u0259d\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t edirdik. O, sizin \u015feirl\u0259rinizin v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f \u00e7\u0259kisi bar\u0259sind\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcb-g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fl\u00fck ifad\u0259\u00e7isi olmas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259di. Oxucular\u0131n bu c\u00fcr fikri sizin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn maraql\u0131d\u0131rm\u0131?<\/p>\n — M\u0259n\u0259 qalanda, oxucular\u0131n fikri m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 maraql\u0131 olub. \u00c7ox vaxt \u015feir yazanda m\u0259nd\u0259 bel\u0259 bir hiss olur ki, kims\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131nda durub, m\u0259hz bu \u015feirin yaz\u0131l\u0131b qurtarmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir ki, oxusun. Amma \u015feir \u00e7ap olunmay\u0131nca m\u0259n onu he\u00e7 kim\u0259 oxumuram. \u00c7ox nadir hallarda, q\u0259lbimd\u0259 bir s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131 duyanda, ya da \u015feir oxumaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259n ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 \u015feirimd\u0259n ba\u015flay\u0131ram.<\/p>\n B\u0259z\u0259n \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 oxucular\u0131m da s\u0259tiralt\u0131 m\u0259nalara \u00e7ata bilmirl\u0259r. \u015eeir onlara anla\u015f\u0131lmaz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr. M\u0259rhum akademik Afaq Qurbanov deyirdi ki, Firuz\u0259 xan\u0131m\u0131n \u015feirl\u0259ri adam\u0131 m\u0259cbur edir ki, onu t\u0259krar-t\u0259krar oxuyasan. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 yeni bir y\u00f6nd\u0259n d\u0259rk ed\u0259s\u0259n. Yax\u015f\u0131 oxucular\u0131m oxuyur, \u00f6z f\u0259hml\u0259ri il\u0259 d\u0259rk edir, m\u0259n oxuyub t\u0259hlil ver\u0259nd\u0259 onlara daha maraql\u0131 v\u0259 tap\u0131nt\u0131larla z\u0259ngin g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr.<\/p>\n Bir d\u0259 ki, S\u0259rvaz yax\u015f\u0131 \u015fairdir v\u0259 s\u00f6z\u0259, s\u0259n\u0259t\u0259 qiym\u0259t verm\u0259yi d\u0259 bacar\u0131r. S\u0259n\u0259tin is\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259m\u0259xsus terminologiyas\u0131 var. V\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f m\u00f6vqeyind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fanda deyil\u0259si s\u00f6zl\u0259r d\u0259 \u00e7oxdur…<\/p>\n — Poeziyada g\u00f6rm\u0259dikl\u0259riniz v\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259dikl\u0259riniz?<\/p>\n — \u00c7\u0259tin suald\u0131r. O q\u0259d\u0259r \u015feir yazan var ki, vaxt yetirib ham\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f ola bilmirs\u0259n. B\u0259zil\u0259rin\u0259 is\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259rf etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirs\u0259n.<\/p>\n Bilirsinizmi, \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r, y\u0259ni \u00f6t\u0259n \u0259srin ortalar\u0131nda h\u0259r on illik \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn super istedadlar\u0131n\u0131 yeti\u015fdirib \u0259d\u0259bi al\u0259m\u0259 t\u0259qdim edirdi. M\u00f6vcud poeziya m\u00fcst\u0259visind\u0259 bird\u0259n bir qaynama, bu qaynamada s\u0259thd\u0259n yuxar\u0131 qabarmalar g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcn. Y\u0259ni dur\u011funluq olmurdu. 60-c\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259 — \u018fli K\u0259rim, M\u0259mm\u0259d Araz, Fikr\u0259t Qoca, Fikr\u0259t Sad\u0131q, \u0130sa \u0130smay\u0131lzad\u0259, \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Salahzad\u0259, 70-ci ill\u0259r\u0259 yax\u0131n Ramiz R\u00f6v\u015f\u0259n, N\u00fcsr\u0259t K\u0259s\u0259m\u0259nli, M\u0259mm\u0259d \u0130smay\u0131l, Sabir R\u00fcst\u0259mxanl\u0131, 70-80-ci ill\u0259r aras\u0131nda Vaqif B\u0259hm\u0259nli, Vaqif C\u0259bray\u0131lzad\u0259, Z\u0259limxan Yaqub, daha sonralar Ramiz Qusar\u00e7ayl\u0131, Nis\u0259b\u0259yim, Salam Sarvan v\u0259 s. poeziya al\u0259mind\u0259 bir ulduz kimi par\u0131ldad\u0131lar.<\/p>\n Haz\u0131rda m\u00f6vcud poetik al\u0259min R\u0259sul Rzas\u0131, \u018fli K\u0259rimi, M\u0259mm\u0259d Araz\u0131 yoxdur. X\u00fcsus\u0259n ger\u00e7\u0259kliyin poetik ifad\u0259sind\u0259 R\u0259sul Rza \u0259d\u0259bi n\u00fcfuzu \u00e7at\u0131\u015fm\u0131r.<\/p>\n Poeziyam\u0131zda \u00fcslub r\u0259ngar\u0259ngliyi var. Poetik deyim t\u0259rzind\u0259 axtar\u0131\u015flar da yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131r. Amma parnoqrafik poeziyan\u0131 q\u0259bul ed\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Sensasiya, piar, t\u0259bli\u011fat v\u0259 s. namin\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259t arenas\u0131n\u0131n zibill\u0259nm\u0259sin\u0259 haqq qazand\u0131rmaq olmur. \u018fn parlaq \u015fan-\u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tin \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llifin \u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r \u00f6l\u00fcb ged\u0259ndir. Qalan ancaq s\u0259n\u0259tdir, \u015fairs\u0259ns\u0259, s\u0259nin poeziyan var v\u0259 \u0259sil \u015fan-\u015f\u00f6hr\u0259ti d\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 o g\u0259tir\u0259c\u0259k, ola bilsin ki, s\u0259nd\u0259n \u0259lli il sonra, y\u00fcz il sonra…<\/p>\n — Yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011fa ba\u015flark\u0259n \u015feirl\u0259rinizi kimin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yazm\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z? Kim\u0259 \u00fcnvanlam\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n — \u0130lk \u015feirimi anam\u0131n v\u0259fat\u0131na yazm\u0131\u015fam (1952-ci ild\u0259). \u0130kinci \u015feirim 1953-c\u00fc ild\u0259 Stalinin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 h\u0259sr olunub. 13 b\u0259ndlik bir \u015feir idi. \u0130kic\u0259 misra qal\u0131b yad\u0131mda. O vaxt u\u015faq idik v\u0259 r\u0259hb\u0259ri ham\u0131dan ucada g\u00f6rm\u0259yi \u00f6yr\u0259tmi\u015fdil\u0259r biz\u0259.<\/p>\n M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rim\u0259, s\u0259n\u0259t adamlar\u0131na, yax\u0131nlar\u0131ma h\u0259sr etdiyim \u015feirl\u0259r «Se\u00e7ilmi\u015f \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259ri»min 2-ci cildind\u0259 «Ulular\u0131m, \u0259zizl\u0259rim, yax\u0131nlar\u0131m» b\u00f6lm\u0259sind\u0259 verilib. Lakin bunlar yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ki\u00e7ik bir hiss\u0259sini t\u0259\u015fkil edir. Bu m\u00f6vzu m\u00fcxt\u0259lif istiqam\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259n\u0259 bil\u0259r. Lakin insan, onun probleml\u0259ri, \u0259traf\u0131nda ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259r v\u0259 s. m\u0259ni daha \u00e7ox c\u0259lb edir. Yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015f q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fck h\u0259rfl\u0259rl\u0259 insand\u0131r.<\/p>\n — M\u0259nim fikrimc\u0259, h\u0259v\u0259skar \u015fair, h\u0259v\u0259skar b\u0259st\u0259kar ifad\u0259l\u0259ri oldu\u011fu kimi, h\u0259v\u0259skar t\u0259nqid\u00e7i ifad\u0259si d\u0259 m\u00f6vcuddur. Y\u0259ni \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u015f\u00fcnasl\u0131qdan x\u0259b\u0259ri bel\u0259 olmayan b\u0259zi insanlar \u0259lin\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m al\u0131b, t\u0259nqid yazmaq fikrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr v\u0259 sensasiya yarad\u0131r. \u018fd\u0259bi t\u0259nqid bar\u0259d\u0259 fikrinizi bilm\u0259k ist\u0259rdim. Hans\u0131 t\u0259nqidi oriyinal hesab edirsiniz? B\u0259lk\u0259 t\u0259nqidi he\u00e7 q\u0259bul etmirsiniz?<\/p>\n — M\u0259n bu fikird\u0259 deyil\u0259m ki, h\u0259v\u0259skar \u015fair, h\u0259v\u0259skar t\u0259nqid\u00e7i ola bil\u0259r. H\u0259v\u0259skarl\u0131q \u0259l i\u015fidir. Pe\u015f\u0259 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir. Pe\u015f\u0259kar ola bilm\u0259y\u0259n h\u0259v\u0259skar m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259 ili\u015fib qal\u0131r. T\u0259f\u0259kk\u00fcr s\u00fczg\u0259cind\u0259n ke\u00e7ib g\u0259l\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259td\u0259 pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131q olar, h\u0259v\u0259skarl\u0131q yox. Pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 m\u0259n poeziya \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259li hesab edir\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki poeziya daim axtar\u0131\u015f t\u0259l\u0259b edir. Pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131qda is\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m, d\u0259st-x\u0259tt \u00f6yr\u0259nc\u0259liliyi var. \u00dcslub ba\u015fqa \u015feydir. Pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131q d\u00fczx\u0259tli h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tdir, hamar gedi\u015fdir. Asan qavran\u0131lsa da, tez h\u0259zm olunsa da, yenilik q\u0131\u011f\u0131lc\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ox z\u0259if olur. \u015eairin axtar\u0131\u015flar\u0131 onu daim \u00e7\u0259tin manevrl\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kir. B\u0259z\u0259n eksperment\u0259 \u00fcz tutursan. El\u0259 buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, beyin m\u0259rk\u0259zl\u0259ri il\u0259 s\u0131x \u0259laq\u0259d\u0259 olursan. \u015eair ya var, ya yoxdur. \u015eeird\u0259, poeziyada h\u0259v\u0259skarl\u0131q ola bilm\u0259z. Amma z\u0259if yazanlar o q\u0259d\u0259rdir ki, buna ayr\u0131 ad da verm\u0259k olmur. Qafiy\u0259l\u0259ndirm\u0259, ritm\u0259 uyma, fikirl\u0259rin birini bu da\u011fdan, birini o da\u011fdan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb b\u0259nd\u0259 salma h\u0259l\u0259 \u015feir olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi, onu yazan da he\u00e7 c\u00fcr \u015fair adlana bilm\u0259z, lap h\u0259v\u0259skar s\u0259viyy\u0259sind\u0259 bel\u0259.<\/p>\n El\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259nqid. T\u0259nqidd\u0259 birinci n\u00f6vb\u0259d\u0259 t\u0259nqid\u00e7i t\u0259f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u00fc formala\u015fmal\u0131d\u0131r. T\u0259nqid\u00e7i material\u0131 oxucu fikri s\u0259viyy\u0259sind\u0259 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirib can\u0131n\u0131 qurtarma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsa, bu, daha t\u0259nqid deyil, oxucu fikridir.<\/p>\n Oxucu fikirl\u0259rinin yaz\u0131lmas\u0131na is\u0259 m\u00fcsb\u0259t bax\u0131ram. \u018fvv\u0259la, savadl\u0131 oxucuya malik olmaq m\u00fcasir poeziyam\u0131z\u0131n probleml\u0259rind\u0259ndir. Oxucu oxudu\u011fu material\u0131 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259 bilirs\u0259, he\u00e7 olmasa, buna s\u0259y edirs\u0259, bunun n\u0259yi pisdir ki?! O ki qald\u0131 t\u0259nqidi q\u0259bul etm\u0259yim\u0259, b\u0259li, t\u0259nqidi q\u0259bul edir\u0259m. Q\u0259r\u0259zsiz, t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131z, obyektiv t\u0259nqidi.<\/p>\n — Yen\u0259 sizin \u015feiriniz\u0259 \u00fcz tutaq: «H\u0259r g\u00fcn \u00f6l\u00fcm aya\u011f\u0131d\u0131r» q\u0259na\u0259tin\u0259 g\u0259linc\u0259 \u00e7oxmu g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy etmisiniz?<\/p>\n — Q\u0259tiyy\u0259n. M\u0259nc\u0259, h\u0259yat\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 etm\u0259k kifay\u0259tdir. 1990-c\u0131 ild\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcb\u0259ri ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259r dikt\u0259 etdi m\u0259n\u0259 bu fikri: insanlar k\u00fctl\u0259vi q\u0131r\u011f\u0131nlarla \u00fczl\u0259\u015fib. B\u0259s h\u0259r an \u00fcrcah ola bil\u0259c\u0259yin terror aktlar\u0131… Evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rsan, bilmirs\u0259n salamat qay\u0131da bil\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259nmi? \u00d6l\u00fcm daha qocaya, cavana f\u0259rq qoymur. Qaba\u011f\u0131na kim \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, qamarlay\u0131r.<\/p>\n — \u0130\u015f, ail\u0259, qad\u0131n. Bunlar\u0131 bir araya nec\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z? H\u0259l\u0259 \u00fcst\u0259lik, Az\u0259rbaycan Yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar Birliyi H\u0259mkarlar \u0130ttifaq\u0131 Komit\u0259sinin i\u015fl\u0259ri.<\/p>\n — Kim des\u0259 ki, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259nziml\u0259yir\u0259m, inanmay\u0131n. M\u00fctl\u0259q birini ir\u0259li aparmaq ist\u0259s\u0259n, o biri geri qalacaq. M\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn poeziya, i\u015f h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00f6nd\u0259 olub. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, m\u0259ni yax\u015f\u0131 \u015fair, yax\u015f\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259llim, yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkilat\u00e7\u0131 hesab ed\u0259n varsa, tam s\u0259mimiyy\u0259tl\u0259 deyir\u0259m — ail\u0259, ev, qad\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sini ikinci anda g\u00f6rs\u00fcnl\u0259r. Qad\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si, onun probleml\u0259ri b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259tin tarixi il\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131dd\u0131r. \u0130nanmay\u0131n ki, kims\u0259 \u00f6z simas\u0131nda bu problemin h\u0259llin\u0259 nail olundu\u011funu deyib. Bu \u00fc\u00e7bucaq \u015f\u0259xs\u0259n m\u0259ni olmaz\u0131n m\u0259rhumiyy\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 m\u0259ruz qoyub.<\/p>\n — M\u00fc\u0259llimlikd\u0259n he\u00e7 dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131q…<\/p>\n — N\u0259 deyim, m\u0259nim d\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rim olub. N\u00fcmun\u0259vi t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 oldu\u011fumdan x\u0259trimi ist\u0259yibl\u0259r. M\u0259n d\u0259 el\u0259. Yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rim olub, yen\u0259 d\u0259 var. Nazir olan\u0131 da var, akademik olan\u0131 da var, \u015fair olan\u0131 da, adi m\u00fc\u0259llim olan\u0131 da. El\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 var ki, evdar qad\u0131nd\u0131r, ail\u0259sin\u0259 xidm\u0259t edir. Ax\u0131 bizim universitetd\u0259 daha \u00e7ox q\u0131zlar oxuyur.<\/p>\n Yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyan t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rimi m\u0259n d\u0259 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirir\u0259m, \u0259ziz tuturam, unutmuram. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rim\u0259 \u015feirl\u0259rim d\u0259 var:<\/p>\n \n Bu yax\u0131n ke\u00e7mi\u015fin d\u0259c\u0259li q\u0131zlar,<\/p>\n H\u0259r\u0259 bir oca\u011f\u0131 isidir indi.<\/p>\n Bir zaman qubal\u0131, g\u0259nc\u0259li q\u0131zlar,<\/p>\n M\u0259nd\u0259n \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131z gizlidir indi\u2026.<\/p>\n \n S\u0259kkiz b\u0259ndlik \u015feirdir. Xo\u015fb\u0259xt olsunlar, Tanr\u0131 onlardan ail\u0259 v\u0259 qad\u0131nl\u0131q sevincini \u0259sirg\u0259m\u0259sin.<\/p>\n — Bu q\u0259d\u0259r f\u0259aliyy\u0259tl\u0259 s\u0259ssiz-k\u00fcys\u00fcz adams\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n — \u00d6t\u0259n \u0259srin 80-ci ill\u0259rind\u0259 f\u0259aliyy\u0259timl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 s\u0259s-k\u00fcy qald\u0131rmaq ist\u0259dim. M\u0259nim inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m, arxa, dayaq, \u00fcmid yeri sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m partiyaya r\u0259hb\u0259rlik ed\u0259n ki\u00e7ik m\u0259murlardan biri dedi ki, neyl\u0259y\u0259k ki, \u015fairs\u0259n, alims\u0259n, evin yoxdur. Yaz\u0131rsan, pulunu al\u0131b cibin\u0259 qoyursan, g\u0259tirib biz\u0259 vermirs\u0259n ki. Amma and i\u00e7ir\u0259m ki, o vaxt biz\u0259 (g\u0259nc hesab olunanlara) \u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 m\u0259bl\u0259\u011fd\u0259 qonorar hesablay\u0131r, on ild\u0259 iki balaca kitab\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7ap edirdil\u0259r. Haqdan, \u0259dal\u0259td\u0259n, b\u0259rab\u0259rlikd\u0259n, xo\u015fb\u0259xtlikd\u0259n d\u0259m vuran bir c\u0259miyy\u0259tin m\u0259murundan e\u015fitdiyim bu s\u00f6zl\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259rs oldu.<\/p>\n — Firuz\u0259 xan\u0131m\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259fi.<\/p>\n — T\u00fcndm\u0259caz, h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259siz, \u00e7ox vaxt n\u0259 ist\u0259diyini \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259n, \u00e7ox vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qapan\u0131b qalan bir insan. \u018fn b\u00f6y\u00fck \u00e7\u0259tinliyim q\u0259lbimd\u0259ki insaf, m\u00fcrv\u0259t, \u0259dal\u0259t hissl\u0259rin\u0259 qalib g\u0259l\u0259 bilm\u0259m\u0259yimdir. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 m\u00fcbariz\u0259 aparan, narahat bir adamam…<\/p>\n — Firuz\u0259 xan\u0131m\u0131n m\u0259\u015f\u011fuliyy\u0259ti.<\/p>\n — \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r bo\u015f vaxt\u0131m olurdu. Onda m\u0259n plastilind\u0259n, parafind\u0259n qu\u015f, heyvan fiqurlar\u0131 haz\u0131rlay\u0131b u\u015faqlar\u0131 sevindirirdim. Bel\u0259 fiqurlar oyuncaq bazar\u0131nda kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r olsa da, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 u\u015faqlar m\u0259nim d\u00fcz\u0259ltdiyim fiqurlar\u0131 xo\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131. \u015e\u0259kill\u0259r \u00e7\u0259kirdim, m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259, portret, \u0259n \u00e7ox da qu\u015f \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri. U\u015faqlara \u00f6yr\u0259dirdim. Balaca r\u0259ssam yetirm\u0259l\u0259rim d\u0259 olurdu.<\/p>\n \n Son vaxtlar bir saat bel\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 \u0259lav\u0259 bir i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olma\u011fa vaxt tapm\u0131ram.<\/p>\n \u00a0— \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 hans\u0131 sual\u0131 ver\u0259rdiniz?<\/p>\n — Art\u0131q \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 he\u00e7 bir sual\u0131m yoxdur. Suallar\u0131m b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259t\u0259dir, d\u00fcnyayad\u0131r, insanlarad\u0131r: hara gedirsiniz bu n\u0259fsl\u0259, bu insafs\u0131zl\u0131qla, bu «m\u0259n\u0259m-m\u0259n\u0259mlikl\u0259»?<\/p>\n \n Zeyn\u0259b \u018fL\u0130QIZI<\/p>\n \n http:\/\/www.kaspi.az\/news\/a-607.html<\/p>\n